Married Woman Day!

You’re dating a married woman who says she won’t leave her husband so you should date other women.

Tell her, “I’m not an idiot. I’m already dating other married women. 

“Other married women?” she’ll ask.

“Um, yeah?” you’ll say, real sarcastic like. “They’re the best.”

Explain that married dating married women makes you feel really wanted, because they broke all these vows and have to sneak around and stuff just to be with you. Also, they bring leftovers from the dinners they made their husbands and kids.

“Also, if you date enough of them, at least one or two will let you help them kill their husbands for a cut of the insurance. I’m rich!”

She’ll say she’s stunned and ashamed. She thought there was a real attraction between the two of you. Now that she knows it’s just some weird fetish for you to date married women, she wants to end it.

“I’m going to go back to my husband and rededicate myself to my marriage,” she’ll say. “I’ll never cheat again.”

“That’s another thing,” tell her. “Being the reason a woman goes back to her husband and rededicates herself to her marriage, that really makes me feel good inside. Glad I could help.”

She already left. Call Tina. She’ll be done dropping her kids off at soccer by now.

Happy Married Woman Day!

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